Recorded at The Atomic Garden with Jack Shirley in July 2014. Album art photo shot by 18%grey. Track 8 makes many musical and lyrical nods to the writing of Noah Geraci and Salt Flat. Piano on Track 8 by David.
Thanks to everyone who made this record possible, everyone who has ever supported us over the years, and all of our friends and our friends' bands. Special thanks to Jason and Underdoom! Studios, Erfan and Fourth Row Records, Devin and Cridius, Sam, KJ, Stephanie, Nik, Leer, Caps, Snaggletooth, Tough Stuff, and too many other people/groups to name here. There are a lot of people who have helped this band become what it is today and we are all incredibly thankful.
released 01 August 2014
Jeff Wilson - Drums
Taylor Bortner - Guitar, Vocals
Cole Calvo - Bass, Vocals
David Lechuga - Guitar, Vocals
I can write about you too, but the format won't look as pleasing
And I don't have lines about body language and inflection, don't have your similes or lack of affection
But "much like water" it never meant that much to me; you hate my voice, so I'll wait for you to get back to me.
Track Name: Astraphobia
I am always waiting. I have been known to waste a whole three years on something I cant explain. We are always changing, nothing we've felt has ever stayed that way. We know this so why do we say otherwise? Why bury ourselves inside?
Let's go out, and don't go off when I say this has got to end
You just thought it was beautiful, and it's rattling around in my head
Wrong address, but I addressed you with respect; dressed down from the neck up and it's for the best that you get her off your chest, you're drawing to no outs, down two points in the third, you'll agree that we should-
Go out, and not get off until the street signs end
You just thought it was beautiful, but you'd be less pretty dead, I think.
I'm found dropped in the ocean. In myself I drown.
Track Name: Hide//Seek
(Keep your hands clasped, keep your head interred)
Holding back our sighs
(Keep your guard closed, keep him close)
On couches we lie
(I can't ask for your help forever)
In the basement that I've grown to know, I'm pushed into these roles (prescribed to me by you) that I'm trapped inside.
Can't remember what you saw, just remember you were nauseous
(this is all we ever do and that is all we talk about)
You can meet me at the bathroom but either way I'll see you at the office
I might miss the drives; I won't miss the offense
(this is all you've ever known and that is all I think about)
And I'll shed maybe two to three tears on the day that that fool dies-
so even though we once were so attached to our bodies and each others' lives, we can't be held back by fear of what's outside.
Bit my tongue off cause you didn't know how to kiss, took my head off cause you sure learned how to hit
Straight right, saw stars both on the stage and in my eyelids
Making amends is for lesser men than you but there's still time to mend things, you'd have to ask him how much cause i haven't really been on it. My feelings are rented, my guard is open, I'm just not invested, but you'll find this out eventually.
(cutting all our ties)
I might spend my whole life alone,
(in cities we hide)
but I could not call this place a home.
(this is our new life)
Fuck all the hicks that don't like Philadelphia.
Track Name: Solomon Curve
pulled into one-way streets.
Looking forward to highway talks,
just blame all wishful thinking on me.
Talk about nothing and everything,
ruminating all at the same time.
Fear of running motors:
another constant in my life.
Took the long route,
post street was still closed
"Wait 'till Cole finds out".
Waiting on you;
what's your destination?
Another night of parkings lots,
but this night never happened to you.
Late night, codependent
on whether you're warming up
to taking off from waking up to walking off,
I never meant that.
Let's drop what we were talking about,
close-call collective sense of loss.
I'll walk this time, don't drop me off.
Why wait for something
when I'm not and you're not ready?
(pulled from the wreckage)
I can't wait to say it's all my fault.
Late night, calm collected,
all different bodies, all different paths,
long interstates and living space
your loss, my bad.
Fold out the wheel when you're done and I'll wonder if long nights still mean something.
this night was not nothing.
Track Name: Catch//Release
Long diatribes about the things you don't like and the things that disgust you will only get me closer to your sigh
Feel better this time, I feel like it's viable if you decide to punch up and look down
And bigger guys can impose their will, and bug eyes can impose his will
and big guys can impose their will, and bug eyes can impose his will
And bug eyes 2 and 3 and 4 can vie for inclusion
I want The Big Show to break my back, I want The Rock to take a strap to my candy ass; Sometimes I wanna go out like Owen Hart, but I still feel Raw about it
And big guys can impose their will
and bug eyes can impose his will
and big guys never will
like bug eyes needs to chill
(I still feel your hands)
This isn't a cry for help, it's my rebirth, cause I'm fake like the phoenix
(I still feel the air hit my head)
You don't need to show me your hands cause I've already seen it
And bug eyes 4 and 5 and 6 can wait in line.
Track Name: Chato
You want to say: this is in our heads, we know it's not true. We all want attention and theres nothing we can prove. You say "check your sources", everything we do just wastes our time and all the things we say just bring you down. We should be careful, the real harm lies in shaming a name, not petty preference. This is in our hands and we have to change it. This has gone too far, this has really gone too far. We can't sit down and watch you let him say "the ones I want will come around". We should be careful, the real harm lies in shaming a name, not petty preference. We're done. We don't want to hear it.
Track Name: Odds//Ends
I'd never felt this way before, the day I learned that I was wrong, or rather that you'd proved me right. But now I'm not so convinced that I've become who you never thought that I could be in the first place. And each time I somehow end up on a strange new path to something else, you seemingly arrive to lure me off, and I fall into this life.
Track Name: Nothing is Simple
The world outside never knew why we did anything that we did, or anything that we did at all. I often feel so trapped inside the walls that have been built around me, and so I'm forced into justifying everything, but: this is the way I'll make it out. I will be the one to stand there and shout: "see? nothings's as simple as it seems." but we all knew that already, so even though I may never learn from my mistakes I will still move forward anyway, on into the life that you've created. Tonight we leave today.
Track Name: Panic Defense
You believe we are bodies and memories. there's no "lost". You want to leave the picture blank, take the details out, tear the page from the book. Drop the pencil to the floor where I won't ever pick it up. For the best because you can't seem to get it off your chest, so I'll cling to the walls in the hopes of finding anything resembling myself from your own list of everything. I hang from my hopes and wait for you to say: "what about bodies?" "what about hearts?" "what about us?". You wake up whole, you're shown and told, you know who you are. You're taught everything there is to know, there are no more questions now. So you won't be deceived, and you won't fall prey to the trickery that we are. "Who's really going to miss me?" I say as the pen leaves the paper. As the pages are shred and strewn across the floor, they all fall to spell "who will?". I had a chance to be heard and you had a plan to get even. How do you live with yourself? How could you live with yourself?
Track Name: Far//Away
I'm lost in a maze inside myself so far away
Trapped within walls of fear I navigate
The deeper I go the less sense it makes
I swear these twenty years were twenty days.
I lie awake in fear of all the days ahead of me, I comfort myself with "this is only temporary". I'm waiting to become who I was told I'd be in the first place.
I found myself in a world where I could become anything. I fell from you, this is what it took for me to realize.
In the basement (that I've grown to know) I've become someone else. I know I've lost myself when I forget these crucial traits: I talk alot but can't stand the way my voice sounds, I think a lot about hating the things I think about, my life reflects all of the hate that I internalize, while I send all the love inside of me, outside of me.
Each morning I look back in shame of the night before, each day I'm on a strange new path to something else and every night I just want to fall asleep forever, and I would without you.