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I'm lost in a maze inside myself so far away
Trapped within walls of fear I navigate
The deeper I go the less sense it makes
I swear these twenty years were twenty days.

I lie awake in fear of all the days ahead of me, I comfort myself with "this is only temporary". I'm waiting to become who I was told I'd be in the first place.

I found myself in a world where I could become anything. I fell from you, this is what it took for me to realize.

In the basement (that I've grown to know) I've become someone else. I know I've lost myself when I forget these crucial traits: I talk alot but can't stand the way my voice sounds, I think a lot about hating the things I think about, my life reflects all of the hate that I internalize, while I send all the love inside of me, outside of me.

Each morning I look back in shame of the night before, each day I'm on a strange new path to something else and every night I just want to fall asleep forever, and I would without you.


from Alive​/​/​Well, released August 1, 2014



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